The Birthday Suit
by awynn22
Summary: Wizards have a different idea about birthday suits than muggles do. Of course, nobody tells Hermione that.


Fred grinned in anticipation. His birthday was coming up, and he had plan. Before you start to disagree with him, about it being his birthday, it is just his birthday. Not George's. No matter how much George protests, it is JUST Fred's birthday. Now, back to the story. Fred had something evil planned. Fred had managed to dig up a bit of information. Information about a birthday suit. No, not the one that you're thinking of. Get your head out of the gutter! Anyways, Fred decided that it was time to bring this tradition back. But he decided that he would leave one specific person out of this tomfoolery. And this one person is one that is straightforward and smart. One that is brave but studious. The one, the only, Hermione Granger!

"Hey, George!" said Fred to his brother.

"Yes, Fred?" The brother replied.

"I have a nefarious plan. Come and listen!"

Fred told his twin the plan. George laughed, and then nodded. "Beautiful plan, my seakish brother! Let us put it together!" And so they began their preparation.

"Come one, come all!" Said the sneakish brother Fred, "To my amazing announcement!" The crowd snickered in anticipation. "I," said Fred dramatically, "Will on my birthday, bring back to life a much loved tradition of only wearing one's birthday suit!" There was one extremely loud gasp. And who's corner did it come from? Hermione Granger's, that's who! Fred said, "And this tradition is fully endorsed by all the professors, including our much beloved head, Professor Dumbledore!" A very faint "Oh, joy" was heard from Hermione Granger's corner. Fred smiled and said, "I hope you all look forward to April first!" This should've tipped Hermione Granger off, but it didn't. And so, the story begins!

Hermione Granger had been having a terrible day. First, the spells she had done went all wrong, and then Ron and Harry had been laughing all day, and she suspected it was about her. And now THIS?! Fred was going to be walking around NAKED for the entire day of April First! This was not going to help her smallish crush on him. Yes. She had a crush on Fred. Not Ron. Fred. Got it? Okay. Anyways, Hermione was determined to be sick on April First. Who cares if she missed all her classes? Missing seeing Fred STARK NAKED was worth it. She was determined.

Hermione avoided Fred the days leading up to his birthday. Even though it was technically George's birthday as well. ( She dosen't know that it is REALLY just Fred's birthday, but we know better.) She did hear short conversations about the day though. One went like this. Two girls were sitting there and one said,

"Are you excited about the 1st?" Then other girl said, "Yeah, totally! Feed should look... interesting." Then Hermione fled.

But the day comes, and Hermione was not prepared. So she locked her door, and sat on her bed. Until her couscous started nagging at her. She squrimed. She wiggled. _I must've been in here ages! Missed breakfast at least!_ Hermione's conscience started nagging her, and she finally cracked. She ran outside and then squeaked as she saw a large crowd. _It must be Fred! All these people missing class just to see his birthday suit! I'd think that they'd avoid him!_ But Hermione didn't have time to waste as she saw some red hair emerge from the crowd. She squeaked and ran quickly away.

Fred had dressed in his birthday suit. It was similar to a muggle tux, but a bright garish yellow that didn't compliment his hair. He was surrounded by a crowd as soon as he stepped out of his dorm. Many people were laughing. He smiled and waved. Then he heard a squeak. Hrm. Similar to Hermione's squeak. He began to fight his way through the crowd, and escaped, only to see lots of voluminous brown hair dissapear down the corridor. He chased after her.

Hermione was in hysterics. Apparently Fred WANTED her to see his birthday suit. Ack! _Don't think about it Hermione!_ She told herself. She turned the corner, and got a good eyful of bright, bright yellow.

"Crap! I think I hit a wall." She muttered to herself. But walls weren't usually muscular. Or yellow. Or had red hair. She blushed and said, "Sorry, George. Happy Birthday, but I'm trying to run away from Fred, the whole birthday thing ya know." George chuckled.

"Wrong twin, Hermione. And, its not George's birthday, its just mine. His is next year." Hermione tried to comprehend this. The fact that she thought Fred was really muscular, and the fact that George's birthday was next year. Then Fred said, "Like my birthday suit?" Hermione replied,

"Uh, yeah. It's just REALLY bright. And tight fitting." Her fingers attested to that. Wait. How would she know? Unless... She pulled away from Fred bright red. "Erm, sorry 'bout that." She began retreating.

Hermione, wait!" Fred said loudly. "Didn't you forget something?" Hermione looked confused. "It's my birthday too."

"Oh! Yeah. Happy Birthday, Fred." She said quietly, getting close to him. He looked at her and thought, _Wow. Sue looks REALLY nice. Maybe... Maybe since it's my birthday, I can give myself a present and just snog her. Aw, why not!_ Then Fred looked down at her and pulled her up to him. Then, his lips met hers.

Hermione gasped. He was kissing her! Kissing HER! She responded, and then broke away when cheering came. It wasn't loud. But it was there. Harry, Ron, and George were smiling at them.

"Good job, Gred! I knew you had it in you!" George said. Then he smiled. "Glad we played this prank on you?" Hermione nodded fervently. Then she looked at Fred meaningfully.

"If you would excuse us," Fred said loudly, "Hermione and I have some business together." An, they walked off. And Hermione thanked her lucky stars that she had heard about Fred's birthday suit.


End file.
